Jack started reaching my right hand. This time I looked at his face. He seemed to have been crying all night long. He knelt down in front of me, simply bursting in tears. It was very embarrassing to see a guy cry like a baby. Jack tried to be that sweet charming loving person once again. I knew this drama of his wouldn't last! However, because I was weak, confused and vulnerable at this time, I kept myself together, only because I didn't want to be tricked by his charms. Jack kept saying that he loves me, and that he was sorry for all of the things he did. He was still on his knees and apologized profusely. Because I didn’t give him my full attention, he got up and grabbed something from outside.
He came right back in and handed me a dozen of roses trying to gain my sympathy back. I tried hard and told myself not to be sucked in once again by Jack’s scheming. However, I didn’t know if those tears were for real! Why would a man burst into tears and stay on his knees for a long time, whilst asking forgiveness from his wife?
He was on his knees again; his actions were so genuine. He was waiting for my gleeful forgiveness. At this time, I was still frozen. No words came out from my mouth yet (I was sobbing a little bit this time. What am I going to do? I asked myself quietly).
This time Jack acknowledged me with an endearing name. He goes, “Babe, please talk to me, just look at me. I love you, and I want you to come back home. Please forgive me, Please, please my dear wife come home!” I told Jack to give me some time to think about it properly. I told him to leave me alone for now, because I can’t decide yet, and that I would call him the following day if I decided to go back home with him. Before he left, Jack hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead along with his endearing words again “I love you." Though he was charming, I was very nervous that he might do something nasty, because I really didn’t trust him at all.
My Filipina lady friend saw Jack take off, and she came in and comforted me. She was very supportive all the way through. Be with Jack, or be with my family, it didn’t matter to her, as long as Jack didn’t lay his hands on me again. She was always there for me, and that help eased my mind up. She goes, “So what now? Are you going back with him? I heard all your conversation together. It’s all right young lady. If you still love him, just give him a chance. I can see that he really cares for you.” I said, “I am confused, and I need your true guidance. What do YOU think should I do?” and she goes, “Don’t worry, if he comes back tomorrow; I will talk to him alone. He'd better not treat you like he did anymore, and he'd better not put his hands on you. Okay! Now go to sleep because it is getting very late.”
She went to bed, and I was up all night long, just thinking. I kept asking myself that night! Would I, Should I, Could I go back? Would I really be happy being with Jack once again? Should I really do this, and give him another chance? Could I be putting myself in more danger being with him again? Dawn came the next day, and the sun was set to rise anytime soon. I went outside, the picture below was almost the same look and feel like this one that day. I felt kind of sad and unsure about my fate ahead of me.
(But I didn't forget and was very grateful that there was an angel out there like this Filipina lady friend who was always there for me.)
Then comes the second day. I got up and cooked some breakfast for us (me and my Filipina lady friend). We ate, and while we were about to hit the road after breakfast, there came Jack’s truck, parking on her drive way. Jack stopped and stepped out from his truck and walked toward us, of course blocking our way so that we may not leave the area.
My Filipina lady friend, told me to get down and go back inside the house, which I did straight away! Jack followed us (My Filipina friend, I regarded her as one of my Angels. I felt so relieved that she was around for me.) While inside, she offered Jack to sit on the couch, which he refused because he said he was in a hurry. So my lady friend signaled for me to go inside the room, because she would like to have a civil, personal talk with Jack, so off I went.
Since I was inside the room, I didn't hear what they were talking about. When they were done, she then told me to get my stuff ready, and that Jack was waiting for me outside. She goes, "Don't worry I made Jack promise to me that he wouldn't hurt you and not to lay hands on you ever again!" So I gave her a big hug and thanked her for being so supporting to me, morally and emotionally. (Just so you know, I recently heard she passed away only a few years ago. Thank you my Angel Filipina lady friend. You are in a better place now!)
Now I am back in Jack’s truck with him. (Oh no! What have I done?) We were driving for a few miles, without saying a word to each other. Finally, when we were closer to Jack’s house, he started breaking the ice with me. He goes, “So how are you my love?” Still, I hadn't said a word to Jack, because I was still scared of him. He may never put his hands on me yet, but calling me names and belittling me was very degrading and humiliating. (It had been a decade ago, and until now. It is hard to forget.)
You may wonder why I decidedly went back with Jack! It is because I had no one else to run to, and I did not want to be a burden with my Filipina lady friend who already had helped me a lot. Though she offered me to stay, I just didn’t have the cheek to be a free loader.
Let’s go back to the subject where Jack's question me. How was I doing while in the truck with him? Remember, I still did not answer his initial question. He didn’t seem to care to be honest. However, when we arrived home, he said, “I understand that you hate me for calling you names. I said I am sorry, and that I would never do that again I promise”
I went straight to our room and still did not say a word to him. While I was hanging my clothes and putting it back into our wardrobes, Jack helped me out! When we were done, he then told me to give him some time to prove to me that he sincerely was sorry. I wanted to voice out and tell Jack all of my concerns, what I wanted, but because I knew, he was such a self-centered-egomaniac and selfish; talking to him would be just in vain.
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