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My terror began that night when Jack found an unfamiliar pad under-neath the sink. "Where did you get this?" Jack yelled loudly with his eyes glowing red quickly. I looked down on the floor, not looking at his eyes, and was dreading that he might do me any harm. I replied to him in a soft voice, "Uhmmm.....I asked my friend to bring me some, because I really needed it, and I had none." He replies, "Are you stupid? You are no good. You are an idiot, go back to your own country where you belong".......and so on. I could not believe what I heard. You name it Jack, said it all. The belittling and insulting was way too much for me to bear.
I am so new to this country, and no one has ever spoken to me so paralyzingly before. I still couldn't quite understand what had just happened. All I did was ask a favor from my Filipina friend, and he went completely berserk on me. I cried that night like I'd never cried before. Jack uttered those words from his mouth like it was a sharp sword that killed my soul. Woo, it hurts deeply.
The following day, Jack was extremely nice to me. He got up early in the morning and brought me breakfast in my bed. I said to myself was I dreaming? Just last night he was extremely vicious, calling me disgusting names and so forth. Now he is serving me breakfast in my bed, which he had never done before. Did he feel guilty about the things he said last night?
As a new wife and living in a totally different environment and country far away from family and friends, I tried to assess the situation the best I could. I was confused, but I did try not to show it to Jack because of the fear that it may retrigger his wrath. Mind you, this was my first experience of learning about Jack.
On Saturday, the same week, during the weekend, he took me to Hudson's store (it's like a Goodwill Store). He then purchased a couple of long sleeves and a couple of skirts for me and closed flat shoes. He asked me to put them on the following day. We went to this so called "Christian Church." Obviously, he was a brand-new comer, because everyone welcomed him and then of course they also welcomed me too.
Going to church became a regular routine for us. In fact, we were going five times a week. Five months going into my first marriage, I was already getting tired of going to church. It seemed like Jack pushed me into doing this, so that he would not worry about me seeing, meeting or talking to my newly found Filipino friends who lived nearby while he had gone to work. I was deprived of contact, by not talking to friends or even contacting my family back home. I felt like a prisoner!
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