All I wanted in my marriage was to be loved and cared for, but what I've got instead was living in fear and being emotionally drained. Every single day I felt like I was walking on eggshells; I was so worried about the things that I would say or do, because he always made me feel that I was the most pathetic person ever alive. I was so sick of the things that he wanted me to do, like the fact that I had to wear long sleeves and long skirts whenever we went to church, with no make-up and no jewelry on. He always told me what to wear and how not to tie my hair. He always had excuses like, and I quote; Church Said So!
I remember after 2 days when I arrived here in the US, he took me to his lawyer’s office and had me sit in the corner telling me that I had to sign the pre-nuptial agreement. I was allowed to read it once before I could sign. In the prenuptial agreement it read there, that I would not receive anything if I ever leave him or divorces him. Similarly, if he dies, I could stay living in the house, but his 2 sons own it. After I was done reading, I looked at him with no words or expression. He squished closer and whispered to me in my ear, “If you love me, you have to sign this paper” I wanted to marry him, because he said he loved me not because of what he’s got. So I did as he said and signed the papers.
I now had a full understanding of why he wanted that prenuptial agreement, because he already had his plans fully in motion. He knew that he was one abusing son of a gun! How would I have known? He married a Filipina Wife for so many controlling reasons (I’ll tell you about that later!). I had been experiencing this thought of just walking away from him many times before, and I was just going to do the hitch hike thing and I didn't even care what would happen to me, but just the thoughts of hitch hiking got me even more scared. I might have ended up being raped or even killed, so I decided to stay put.
One day, an elderly Filipina lady who lives just across the town called me up and asked if I was available to go shopping with her. She was just going to pick me up later on if I wanted! I was so excited; I hadn't gone to the mall for a long time. So I told her to wait for my call back, because I had to ask permission from Jack.
Jack came home to me later that night. His food is ready, all he had to do was to sit down and help him. I was so careful about what to say and what not to! I was waiting for the right time to ask, since he was so charming that night after dinner, I thought it would be the perfect time to ask him.
So, I had asked Jack if I could go with my Filipina friend shopping at the mall and he was like “Uhmm, well what are you ladies going to do at the mall?” (Duh! Shopping of course; I would have loved to tell him that; but of course I had to keep my mouth shut, it might have triggered his wrath). To my surprise, he handed me a 20 dollar bill. He wanted me to buy a set of nice drinking glasses since what all we had in our cupboard was an empty peanut butter cup as our drinking glass.
So, off I went with my Filipina friend to the mall. The mall was a 45 minute drive away from us. When we finally got there, I immediately went to the kitchenware section. I picked up some nice set of glasses that cost $14.49 plus tax. With my 20 dollar bill I had $4.50 left. After shopping, we were hungry so we headed over to Chick-Fil-A for dinner. I spent $3.00 on hamburgers and soda. Now I had only $1.50 left. Mind you, I left around 1pm and arrived back home around 4:30pm. Jack was already at the front porch and seemed to be anxiously waiting for me. Who knew how long he had been sitting there. I was welcomed by his loud voice “Where have you been woman and what took you so long?” Oh oh! I again, walked like on an eggshell ready to protect myself from the harsh environment.
He told me to get inside and give him the receipt for the things that I spent on. So I showed him the receipt for both the drinking glasses and the food from Chick-Fil-A. He went on, “shoot, you spent that much? Now where’s the change?” I gave him back the change from the 20 bill, which was only $1.50.
Eleven months later, another Filipino friend of mine told me that the company she was working for was now hiring. She then referred me over to them; I got called up and turned up for interview. Jack didn’t seem to care much. I was just so happy that he didn’t stop me from getting a job.
I started working and I was truly so happy for the first time in my life, I finally got a nice job as a seamstress. Could you believe that? A seamstress, over here in America! Jack then bought me a used car to drive. The document said he owned it, but I was the one who was going to pay for it monthly. You see how clever he was!
Two weeks after I got hired, I remember being so excited to receive my first ever paycheck. When I was ready to pick up my check at the Human Resources office I was so surprised to see Jack waiting for me there already. Do what? I said “What are you doing here Jack?” “He replies “To pick up your check, since they won’t give it to me, I have to wait till you come and give them authorization to give it to me”
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