I am so pissed off at myself for forgetting the most important documents. I had it laid on top of the table earlier for me to remember to grab it but too much going on in my head that I literally blanked-out! Now I had to turn around and head back to Blue Eyes house.
While I'm only 5 miles away from the house, I was hoping that Blue Eyes would be in the bathroom still so that I could just sneak in. I was driving as fast as I can and then when I got closer to the house, I slow-down and turned my lights-out so that Blue Eyes will not see my car coming through his driveway. I turned the engine off, got out of the car and slowly did the moonwalk towards the front door.
Luckily, I still have the house key. I snuck in and grabbed my documents, and for some reason Blue Eyes were still in the bathroom. (Lady Luck was with me that night. Phew!) I ran back to my car with my documents in my hands and turned the engine on. This time I did not rave my engine. I backed out from the driveway and headed towards yet to my unknown tomorrow. There's nothing scarier than the unknown but if I don't leave Blue Eyes, could the 'unknown' be any worse than staying with him with a third party interfering our relationship? I was trying to gather my strength together and tried to overcome the decision I just made.
I just didn't see myself being with him for a long time. I also didn't want to deal with his crap anymore and I believe I have made the right decision. It was already 10:30pm and for the first time in my life, I was driving alone in the dark heading towards West Coast [2500K miles]. I didn't know how to handle my emotion at the time. I think I may have felt the profound sadness, defeat and betrayal, let alone the unknown state of my car. I didn't know if it'll survive for 4 days or so crossing the huge land of the United States.
I was weeping while driving. Yeah, Literally I broke down like someone just bashed my bum so hard. like I said it was the mixed emotion of leaving Blue Eyes because I cared for him but at the same time I hated him for cheating on me, and plus the thought of my car getting breakdown in the middle of nowhere during my runaway. Oh how much I was praying that night that it was not going to happen.
While still weeping and driving, I questioned myself, "Am I really doing this? Do I really have the courage of driving alone in the dark all by myself?" It was ridiculously odd situation because I didn't know what can happen during this transition and I know there was no hope of reclaiming my relationship with Blue Eyes due to the fact that there were so many hard evidence that indeed he was cheating on me despite of his claims that he didn't do it.
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Next =Trials and Test of Times
Luckily, I still have the house key. I snuck in and grabbed my documents, and for some reason Blue Eyes were still in the bathroom. (Lady Luck was with me that night. Phew!) I ran back to my car with my documents in my hands and turned the engine on. This time I did not rave my engine. I backed out from the driveway and headed towards yet to my unknown tomorrow. There's nothing scarier than the unknown but if I don't leave Blue Eyes, could the 'unknown' be any worse than staying with him with a third party interfering our relationship? I was trying to gather my strength together and tried to overcome the decision I just made.
I just didn't see myself being with him for a long time. I also didn't want to deal with his crap anymore and I believe I have made the right decision. It was already 10:30pm and for the first time in my life, I was driving alone in the dark heading towards West Coast [2500K miles]. I didn't know how to handle my emotion at the time. I think I may have felt the profound sadness, defeat and betrayal, let alone the unknown state of my car. I didn't know if it'll survive for 4 days or so crossing the huge land of the United States.
I was weeping while driving. Yeah, Literally I broke down like someone just bashed my bum so hard. like I said it was the mixed emotion of leaving Blue Eyes because I cared for him but at the same time I hated him for cheating on me, and plus the thought of my car getting breakdown in the middle of nowhere during my runaway. Oh how much I was praying that night that it was not going to happen.
While still weeping and driving, I questioned myself, "Am I really doing this? Do I really have the courage of driving alone in the dark all by myself?" It was ridiculously odd situation because I didn't know what can happen during this transition and I know there was no hope of reclaiming my relationship with Blue Eyes due to the fact that there were so many hard evidence that indeed he was cheating on me despite of his claims that he didn't do it.
Previous
Next =Trials and Test of Times
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